can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize