6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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