I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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