I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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