my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize