I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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