pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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