i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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