me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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