I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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