my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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