My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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