It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
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She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
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Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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