moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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