Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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