I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize