Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279

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(281): # days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279 http://tfl.nu/pu81

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(816): View more from Missouri

I really want to fuck my wifes sister.

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(816): I really want to fuck my wifes sister. http://tfl.nu/nla0

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(919): View more from North Carolina

bitch so ugly she owes me an erection

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(919): bitch so ugly she owes me an erection http://tfl.nu/ldn1

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(864): View more from South Carolina

Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.

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(864): Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume. http://tfl.nu/gbul

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(780): View more from Alberta, CA

She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on

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(780): She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on http://tfl.nu/l1qo

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(319): View more from Iowa

he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"

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(319): he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you" http://tfl.nu/5pu4

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(630): View more from Illinois

I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'

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(630): I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..' http://tfl.nu/mj73

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(314): View more from Missouri

I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...

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(314): I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college... http://tfl.nu/a15y

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(315): View more from New York

Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.

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(315): Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife. http://tfl.nu/jnj1

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.

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(910): Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap. http://tfl.nu/jw87

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(941): View more from Florida

My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.

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(941): My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order. http://tfl.nu/gp8x

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever

(509): View more from Washington

but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid

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(412): you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever (509): but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid http://tfl.nu/bu4c

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(760): View more from California

Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away

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(760): Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away http://tfl.nu/rpjr

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.

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(651): Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen. http://tfl.nu/o1qk

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(813): View more from Florida

Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner

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(813): Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner http://tfl.nu/zbhu

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