This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
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We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
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At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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