YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
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