I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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