did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize