I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize