i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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