it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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