Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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