No stitches, just platelets and will power
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize