Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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