we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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