I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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