Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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