So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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