i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
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