when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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