tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
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I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
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I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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