just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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