I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize