Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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