im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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