He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize