Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
if only i could text you this smell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize