your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
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I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
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they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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