He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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