I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
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What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
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I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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