Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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