he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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