its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
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You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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