So drunk, too bad you don't want this
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
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I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
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