if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
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There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
why do cheetos always look like penises
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
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I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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