man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize