Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize